yay! and so now i am having my first nice solid break after my first sem in university! well, the first sem in uni wasn’t really tough but then like usual i stress for nothing. anyways! i dun wanna talk bout uni now. uni is kind of boring.

oh yea, i wanted to join clubs but then because of transportation problem, i can’t join any which is utterly and terribly sad because i miss my days is HELP Uni College where dee and me did so many things out side of the class room and that was when we met so many nice people!

we met people like clem clem, zhu lian, ivan, dawson, weng khye and so many more besides my buddy buddy classmates which made life in college really fun and funny!

but now in uni, life seems kind of boring because all i do in uni is just studying which is like so nerdy. very nerdy. almost so nerdy until people feel my intelligence which i find really confusing because i don’t think i have a big brain.

Bf always complain i think a lot about really minor things but when it comes to big things, i don’t really think about it.

which is.. true! because i like minor things because it is so minor. but big things is so big and comes with so much trouble and consumes lots of energy, it is not that fun to think of big things. just like i like to eat snacks more than full hearty and healthy meals. but i eat more good food than snacks.

oh yea talking bout that, i got dee and me Zentel to kill the worms in us because we are not fat girls, so we wanna be one. being plump is really cool because we become very huggable. then everyone in this world would want to hug us when they need love. then we will sort of become a happy land to people who are in emotional need.

be happy and be well people!

My assignments are piling up in a way even though i clear them everyday. It’s kinda stupid. They say YOU WILL LOOSE YOUR PASSION FOR IT IF YOU PILE YOUR ASSIGNMENTS EVERYDAY! but the thing is i clear them eveyr day! But! they take such a long time to finihs that it’s similar to piling them up lar. and im not loosing the passion now here, its mroe like i draw until so sien~ So to let me have some life here, i’ve decided to slacken my self. How? Don’t need to put so much effort in one piece of drawing loh. That means i get a lower grade loh. haih… so sad… Hopefully they wont give me a C. B- is okay =) As long no C =)

Oh ya. What’s with the great breasts. For my figure drawing, i am starting to select reference whish are very provocative and sexy. It seems more exciting and not so boring. Especially after you finihs the drawing, you amaze your own self how sexy you can draw some body. it’s just way too cool. Hee

And my lecturers are guys too. So its natural for them to like a sexy pikcha. Not to say bias or what but its natural lar. SO in a while im drawing smart! you knwo how people say study smart? I’m drawing smart! Hee… Sure enough that day that sexy pikcha got selected to put in fron of class with some other people’s work too. so the lesson for today is draw sexy pikcha if you lecturer is a guy. But actually sexy ladies on paper give s a more syioking feeling to everyone, not only male. coz they are more elegent and if we are able to draw them right, they will turn out beatifully. But the hardest part for me was to draw the breast. I’ve seen my classmates drawing breasts and they were so fake looking. either too round or just not nice. The toning of it has to be just right! hee. That’s all i ahve to say about breasts. Hee.

Oh ya, just wondering if guys get horny while drawing all these sexy pikchas. coz coz they ahve to stare and stare and stare…. and they are 18! you know raging hormones you know?? yup… so i wonder~

I am actually starting to dislike some of my classes…. coz the lecturers keep asking the same old stuff and keep saying the same old thing. Like “who’s going to AD?” (then ill be the only one wif my hand up) Then they’ll go “so few only??” then ill go =.=. then they’ll say “so iwont be seeing you all anymore?” then i go =.=. then they say “for thoese who are going, you will be in hell, so be prepared” SO SO SO NOT ENCOURAGING AT ALL LOH. DAH LA IM ALREADY THE ONLY PERSON FROM MY CLASSES DOING THAT COURSE, AND ALL THE WORDS I EVER HEAR IS HOW BAD IT WILL GET LOH. LIKE IM THE ONLY ONE GOING TO HELL. ISH… SO STUPID SO STUPID. I DUN LIKE AD PEOPLE I DUN LIKE! THEY HAVE SOME KIND OF MENTALLY WHIHC I DUN LIKE. IT’S CALLED THE NEVER ENDING DRIVING FORCE. SHEEEEEEEEESH. yuck yuck. but that’s the only suitable course for me =( other’s are just too extreme for me… so how you tell me how… i am enjoying wat i am learning now but i don’t look forward to the future.. there’s no life in it =( i know there wont be life in it actually but but but i still wanna go… maybe hoping that i will some how put some life in it but i doubt it… coz the world is so screwed up. we all should die in 2012. really… coz everyone is so screwed up…

it’s like everytihg is going bad. wanna do good also cant do bad also cant. so what to do lar. stay home every day so that we wont get infected by this that disease. then study hard so that next time CAN EARN BIG MONEY. like all we ever know is that. and everyone knows thats a screwed up fact. so screwed up that everyone thinks its okay. some dont even know that its not okay. thats more screwed up. then if study so hard then people will say YOU NO LIFE GO GET A LIFE LAR. then wat do you do? then you go find for stuff to do… then lecturer scold you coz you take your studies for granted and go play. then of course here comes the time management thingy… but i dun think there still is such a thing loh. coz everything is so screwed up again. the end. we are all stucked in a screwed up world. too bad.

” Do you like compassion?”

” Nope ”

” It’s makes me feel bad… ”

As i was cleaning up the porridge mama cooked last week, i poured the porridge into the great longkang and a kitty meowed at me. It was hungry. Unlike the black cat, it wasn’t irritating. So i stared at it as i poured the porridge into the long kang. I felt bad because i had no food to give to it but at the same time i have chicken porridge in my hands and at teh same time im throwing them away. I was in a trance, throwing food away as usual and my hand could not coordinate with my brain. I WANT TO FEED THE CAT! but my hands were doing the opposite. Until the last bite i suddenly scraped the last few meat of the pot and left on the stairs for the kitty.

Compassion… In these bad times, compassion doesn’t give us good karma, they will send us to a place where we count our karma instead. It’s hard to live in these days where we don’t act according to what we want and how we feel. Life seem more meaningless as i live my life day after day. There was once i was in Mac D and a lady came up to me to ask for money. What was i suppose to do? She said she didn’t eat for a few days already. To believe or to not believe wasn’t an issue here. Because it simply didn’t matter to me. What went through my head that time was, How exactly will i be judge based on what i do? It’s stupid loh. Because it’s just a little incident and yet so manyt hings went through my mind. In the end i just gave her Rm 5 and off she went. Later in the day i told Leo and he scolded me for giving her money. You see what i mean? It’s actually nothing to me but he said what i did was wrong.

Then about the kitten and people. i chose to ignore people or anything living when they come near me because i was thought to do so since young. So, no matter it’s real or not, i will always ignore them without realizing what i am doing. it’s a reflex. I don’t blame anyone because times are so bad that i was raised this way. Leo would always ask me why do i have the heart to ignore people xD Then i would always answer, i got used to it already i hardly realize it. And what i choose to do, it is always about me. When the lady came up to me, i wasn’t really bothered by her lack of food situation. I was more borthered by her being there disturbing my privacy. In a way i feel disappointed with my self.

Hmmm.. yesterday i found a book in my brother’s room. Tuesdays with Morrie. I saw this book in alot of the book shops. Top 10 best sellers. But i never tried reading it. Until yesterday. Since it was not too heavy, i took it and started reading it. I spent teh whoel day reading and it is a really good book! Very philosiphical and alot of ways how to live our life. Then there i was again stuck between reality and the true way to live our lifes…

It seems most of the patients in the mental hospital which morrie worked at was from rich families. And most people chase dreams like its their life goals but in the end it’s still not getting what they want. I know what i want. In fact i always tell people i just want to open a shop and juts earn enough and enjoy life. But at the same time i knwo i’m just being naive and teenagers think of enjoying life. Hmmm…i really don’t know… because i don’t see what’s teh point of studying so hard until so stressful some times we feel like dying and then moving to a higher level where we will work even harder and it gets harder and harder. then mama will say In the end you will get to earn alot of money and your work load will get lesser. But what do i see now? I see mama and papa coming home late and their work load dun seem to get less. They get stressed up and making their body suffer more.

There was once morrie heard some school kids chanting WE ARE NUMBER ONE! WE ARE NUMBER ONE! then we got up and yeld WHATS WRONG WITH BEING NUMBER TWO? i really don’t find it wrong or bad to be number two. My lang and Com Skills Lecturer once said WE MUST ALWAYS TRY TO BE THE BEST. but what’s the point lar. after one achievement then comes anotehr achievement and soon you’ll be competing with the world’s achievers trying to get the most achievements. I never like lectureres. The more i face them the more i dislike them. Because they are instilling the wrong ideas. Why must there always be expectations. To improve your self can be done in other ways, it doens’t have to be getting acheivements. It’s the journey of the soul and experience which helps build someone.

” To learn to die, teaches you how to live ” Every little thing that makes life wonderful, we tend to always miss them out. I hate studying is because I missed out spending time with my family, watching tv with them or together we clean the house. Cleaning teh house togetehr with char is the best! I miss playing with char. Now we spent more time together as compared to last time. Because we feel that the further we go, the more thingg we face, we realized we are still the same… So morrie was saying all the little things we take for granted are actually the things that make our life meaningful. Like enjoying the sight and the weather or each other’s company. Or stroling down the street sipping coffee xD i hate to hear when students skipped their sleep just to study. What’s the point of doing something when you are not able to live your life properly. It’s actually doing something that is killing you instead. No matter how hard i study, i will never skip my sleep. It’s pointless to face a new day with dead brain. Just to get an A for it. It’s stupid and i mean it.

So basicly, The Culture we are facing is what you are living. The Best, The Greatest, The More The Better, the list goes on… i want to paint my own empty white cloth and i don’t want others to help paint mine =)

I skipped my discovery channels and nat geo after browsing through my movie channels. Then off i go to 701 and 702 then to 711 then hoping that there would be some parental control on MTv. But nope, nothing much. Nat geo would be boring eventhough it’s a fun channel to watch but all i want is a good movie at home to sit back and chill~ Then discovery they have too much myth busters going on until it stopped busting my boredom already.

flower candles from cambodia

But of course i still did manage to catch some nice movies at home. Like today i watched True Colours. It has art in it! And surprisingly i found some good tips tooo. I cant remember them now, they disappeared in my brain for a while. But they will come back to me soon. I found out that colours on my palate should be placed at the same spot! the reason i cant recall but i did remember agreeing to it! Then then i learnt some people over interprate art works too. Over exagerating an art piece. Then i also learnt that art shouldn’t be so philosiphical, it should be understandable by all walks of life. As long as it is nice to see~ Oh ya, the actor inside, when he questioned those ‘artists’ he behaved like my art history lecturer xD scary scary. He’ll go “what’s your point?” then he’ll go “I’m lost now” because it was too complicating or too ridiculous xD not my lecturer but the actor but they were similar!

Oh ya.. our birthday was about a month ago! so excited! can’t wait! can’t wait! Erm erm on that day it self (it was a thursday) i spent my whole day doing assignments and char spent her whole day in uni. so we didnt celebrate together as how we used to. Then leo leo came over and help out to clean house. But later i got the newest DIDO CD and took money from his wallet and make it like he bought for me. He smiled. Then im not sure if mama gave us angpow or not but i think not this year. Papa and mama didn’t get anything for us this year. But kor kro bought me a Bamboo. For my design thingy. But now its in his room and he is using it coz i ahvent start using it yet. Hmmm.. what else… ooh ya… hee. Then the next day zhi, jun, and kee met up with us for lunch to celebrate. ZHi got us a uso mi muso no mise cheese cake. I can’t remember how is the anme like but its like that. char and i always sing the song of the name. so i remember the tune of it. then we took pikcha as a proove that we celebrated it. then then nothing much~ hee. But the best present i got is when kor kor drove back from coll to home to get my sketch book for me! hee!

And so, the whole week i thought i would have been ironing around 50 pieces of clothings everyday but nah, i deceived my self. Instead, i only ironed around 10 a day and ended up lying on the sofa most of the time. Not even watching tv but just lie there and sleep or day dream. Not a single day i felt boredom, boredom is a one in a blue moon thingy for me. I don’t really feel it often even if i have nothing to do.

Besides that i have killed all of my tamagotchis. It takes about a week to get bored of them xD I hope i’ll restart them soon if not what’s the point of buying them. Well, there is a point, it’s a temporary fun! Adrenalin rush when i wanted to get it because i thought they might run out of it. Then going home to start them up! Then start playing with their new features and all! But eventually i got bored of it because one of them just refuses to go to work and i don’t know why. And it kept sitting on the floor for no reason and refuses to jump around like the others. The worst part was they cannot tahanme  leaving them for a short 5 hour trip. I fed them full before i left them and when i got back to them after 5 hours two of them died @.@ It’s like no meaning! Even real babies could last longer! SO, that was why i ended their lifes.

I am supposed to draw 5 figures as my sem break homework and submit to the new lecturer once the new sem starts but i still feel there is more sleep to do than my home work =D And it is just experimenting on how to draw bodies, not that we have learnt how to draw them. But i’m sure my class mates will do fine in it, since they always draw their mangas. But their proportionos are abit out lar. Actually hor, i find some of their mangas not that good lor. Not to say i can draw them but if you want to draw them as least draw them nicely? We must have standards! We must!

Funny lar, how most of my classmates are those manga fans and i am one of the out cast, but i still manage to mix around with them xD But until now i am still not interested in those mangas, just not my cup of tea. Oh ya, i knwo how to explain it. It’s like ” It’s very 2-D, not enough depth in it, Make it more 3-D ” These are the common phrases my lecturers use. Some of them amazes me because at only 25++ of age, they can make 18 year olds sit down and draw draw quietly xD no la it’s not that bad, but i’m still impressed with how their bring them selves. And they don’t give out their numbers! You should see how their face change when  you ask for it xD So funny~ First they will pause and then go “err…” xD!! xD!!! xD!!!!!

Bye bye

So my first day of my First term break begins today. What a relief. Yesterday after submission of my last assignment i went for a movie with leo leo. We watched Shopaholic~ surprisingly there were still many people! It was a nice movie =) Not to forget how hot it was. We ran out of water so we went to jusco to get two 1.5 litres of juices and thought we could gobble them down during the show. But we brought  them back just the same with a little lesser. Then we got free lok lok also as long as we showed them our movie ticket.

Anyways, what have i been up to lately… well, many assignments to hand up for the pass 3 -4 months so i never plan anything to do except to finihs them and sleep more. Even chatting online were reduced. I only chat when i ahve to stay up until 3 am so chatting with my college mates help me stay up most of the time xD because by then only my TOA list still look packed and lively xD  i doubt they even sleep.

Oh well, i still have 5 figure drawing as home work. But it’s managable. For a reward after such an exhausting term, i bought two tamagotchi! For fun since they are on a big discount. so now i have four! Actually we stopped playing with them (again) since 5 years ago, but my final project for history i had to research alot on it so i got hooked on it again coz even our lecture got amazed. Why? coz he said ” It’s amazing… ” For him to say such thing is quite amazing in a way because he is a difficult person to be pleased. Some even died in his hands. Then they cry. In a way he is The Hope Crusher~

Guess who?? Guess who?? Very familiar rite?  It’s mr dan with bigger eyes! tadaa~

My drawing has indeed got better. If it doesn’t, i think i’ll just work as a full time maid.

wee~ good rest next week and the week after and the other week after! cnat wait to blog bout mnay things too!

dee is always busy with her assignments. Every day she will bring home new assignments, it is almost like 8 drawings per day.

Meanwhile for me, now is my week four, and i have 3 assignments and most are due this coming week and I am almost done for two of them already. At first i kept complaining i have tons of work to do, but every day i do bit by bit then it started to reduce and i started to have time to relax and adjust. At least i can take my own sweet time to do my assignments when i start early. I can finish them if i spend a few hours on them, meanwhile dee has two spend few days just to finish one drawing.

And I am in uni and she is in college.

But although i said i have free time, i am just talking relatively to dee, i am still busy. I don’t have time for tv anymore or go online to chat. I go online to do my quizzes or read notes or do something with my uni. I am so sick and tired and bored of my uni’s website.. I don’t even like my uni’s name. Such a weird name.

Dee and me are busy girls at home. We do talk to each other though, just that now we talk about stress and and people we meet in class. Sometimes when i am too tired and dee talks to me because she has to release her frustrations, i don’t really listen. Some times it happens the other way around.

We fight for the laptop. I will say i need the laptop to do my research for my essays, then she say she needs the laptop because she has a meeting with her classmates to do their project.. Then i say i need to print my notes, and she says she needs to print her essay’s draft.

We sort of sleep at different times too. She would draw until 3 o’clock, while i would sleep by 10 and wake up by 4 or 5am to do my work.

She has classes at 2pm and i have classes at 8 am. Both of us are living very different lives now, but we are ok with it, did not go through any kind of shock or trauma. But the funny thing is, when both of us live different lives, we show many similarities in class.

Both of us start to open up in class now. We talk more to people and even talk to our lecturers or ask a question or even give our opinion! It is like, we dare to get out from our shell and experience new things together but at different places. It is almost like experiencing the same thing but at different places.

I think i freak some of my new friends out. I think i am too hardworking, I always finish my quizzes like one week before the quizzes ends while they only answer them on the last day of the quiz. Then when assignment days are out, i would start doing my research on the second day already while they… i don’t what do they do at home, i don’t want to know… Then when they go online to check their facebook, i will be reading my lecture notes to prepare for my quiz. I seriously don’t know why am i so hardworking so suddenly. I guess it has some thing to do with my 8 months break.

Sometimes i lie so that i won’t freak people out. I don’t mind people call me a nerd, just don’t call me a nerd freak.

Our birthday is coming this week, actually i don’t have the mood to celebrate it because on that day one whole day i have classes and by the end of that day i will be super exhausted. Just relieved that on that day, most of my assignments will be submitted already, so i have my own personal time. Hehe. I feel touched, because zhi calling us out on next friday to celebrate our birthday with junyi and kee hao. Hehe, so sweet of them.

Hehe, i hope every one is doing fine while we were missing in action.

Hi!!

It has been like 3 months since i last wrote here!

By the way i started my uni already after my 8 months break! So am i regretting my 8 months break? Never!! It was fabulous! But then the 8 months break made me forget the feeling of working hard in my studies.

This week was the first week of my classes and i already feel the stress!! I get stressed up easily now because i never really felt much stress during my 8 months break. And for my first week in uni, i have been really busy. No time for entertainment. For one whole week i didn’t get a chance to sit in front of the tv and watch the tv. The TV misses me, i know.

Most of the time i will be with the lap top when i am at home just to log on to my uni account and check lecture notes and answer quizzes. But most of the time i will be in my uni studying. I never felt i study like that before. From 9am to 5pm, my head will be constantly gaining info either during lecture or while studying in the library. It is not like i want to, i have no choice! It feels like i am working! Then when i go home, most of the time i still have to finish up on some things T.T My first week felt like a never ending week.

Then our maid is gone, dee and me have to do the housework on weekdays, on weekends my mom would try to help, but the guys at home don’t even move a single muscle. So cool hor. And people call the head of the house as the bread winner of the family wor. I feel like dee, me and my mom are more of the winners.

I can be a good wife. I can wash clothes (as in hand wash), dry/hang clothes, iron clothes, sweep floor, mop floor, wash dishes, dry dishes, wash toilet and toilet bowl and sink, throw rubbish, arrange the furniture, fold clothes, cut veggie, wash veggie, wash my hair, massage my husband shoulder, massage his tired hands, massage his head etc. The only thing i don’t know is cooking. I don’t understand how people are not afraid of the hot wok when they cook but they can be afraid of the hot iron. I am the opposite. The hot iron is my best friend, the hotter the better because faster to take away the creases, but hot wok, with oil splattering is freaky.

I don’t understand. I don’t think i can ever understand.

Yay monday holiday!

Hello~ Sorry about the lack of up date. Both of us have been experiencing some chnages and so blogging wasn’t really in our minds…

First of all, i’m in The One Academy! Yup, finally… I can’t remember drawing so much and telling my parents how busy i am by just flicking my pencil and taking out my drawing blocks. If this was last time, it will be called as free time! But not for now… This is so different. Although hectic, i do enjoy what i learn here. Theory is just not my way to go, it’s design! Yes! Design! Haha. But it’s tiring… many would think how hard can drawing be… But try staring at the same thing for a few hours and study the ob ject, it’s really tiring… not that i’m complaining coz i enjoy it but when i reach home, all i want to do is sleep…

Char started her uni life as well too. Monash doing environmental management and bio tech.  Once again, she felt as lost as one can ever be on the first day… We have the tendency to get a bad introduction in our courses eg. driving, coll and uni! It’s just our luck. Maybe because we are just too independent i guess xD

Next! No more maid~ She went home~ And we don’t want any more foreign maids too. Because they drive mama crazy which will lead to driving us crazy. It’s horrible and terrible. So now since i am free this week, i’ll be cleaning the house… But too many assigments to do that i just skip house chores and do my work xD i counted i have 32 things to draw… but now i’ve finished some already and there are 17 left! whoopee! but those left are the harder ones…

Mother kitty died a few months ago too… so many things happened actually. So much so that we just go on feeling numb with all the over whelming feelings..

Oh ya.. you all must be wondering how life is it without each other. Well, it’s fun because we don’t really have each other being a burden to us! Hee… Both of us know that. Now, every thing can be done easily without much hesitatation… We feel lighter but sometimes we miss each other’s company when we are bored… coming home for me is fun because i get to play with char after a hectic day. Playing with each other takes all of our worries and problems away…