Yea one more post about OBS again. I just don’t know why am I still thinking of going back there when the last time i came home, i was traumatize by the experience. It took me about two weeks to recover from my ‘ordeal’ and until now still not yet really fully recovered and now i am thinking should i go back or not. Usually people who go back are people who enjoyed the experience of being there and learning about teamwork and friendship. Yeap i do learn those stuff too but not as easy as many people do. I learn it the hard way.

But one think i know, the people there are just so nice, but that is not the reason why i want to go back. I want to go back because  of the school it self. I just don’t know why. There is some thing a bout the school its self. It feels sacred and peaceful. Being there is like a dream come true. Its like a dream come true because sacrifices need to be made for me to be there.. I can never absorb everything when i am there because i want to absorb it all and keep it as everlasting memories in my head.

I can’t stop myself from finding things to remember about OBS that sometimes its so stupid for example a penknife, rafia string, can food, sugar crackers, and area full of trees with paths ways, really sweet food, backpacks, mosquito coil, mosquito repellent, the nice smell of wet air after it rain is nearly same as the smell of air in the jungle, twigs, lighter, good and comfy socks, sky filled with stars, torch light and more.

But ever since last year, I have been doubting to go back. Not only that, my parents are not really happy when ever sis and i want to go back. I feel like going back but i am really afraid to go through what i went through last year. Sure you might think what was is last year that was so frightening. Only dee and me know. No one will understand. To understand, a person need to feel what my soul felt at that time. It was torturing but yet awakening in some way. I tried to tell people how i felt, but they just can’t seem to see it, they think i have some problem instead.

I just envy poeple who can go there so often and meet new and old friends there and have so much fun, but i feel lucky that i feel a connection with the school.